Dear Mrs. Obaseki, Saying Goodbye
By Emma Okondo
I am motivated by my career in journalism in the Nigerian Television Authority, once being privileged and highly honoured covering two first ladies of Nigeria to write you this. For, I never forget who they were or what I knew of them (as official limits provided), and how they left indelible footprints behind through their pet projects concerning engaging societal needs, or tackling ills or supporting moral regeneration that resonate in unbounded reflection for the people. With that, I had taken it upon myself attempting to absorb what first ladies in all tiers of government in our country do.
For you, Mrs. Betsy Bene Obaseki, as First Lady of Edo State (my state), I had always been compelled into a keener interest in your activities but it became stronger in my consciousness as it stemmed from your engagement during the flag off of the state’s PDP governorship campaign in Ubiaja in Esan South-East Local Government Area in August 2024 with your aspirational exhortation that “It’s time for Esan O’clock”. Much of it was exhaustively elucidated by Vanguard newspaper to my satisfaction as I read it.
From a whiff of excitement to days of appraisal, I related your pronouncement to the 1979 Jaji Declaration in Kaduna State at the Armed Forces Command and Staff College by Olusegun Obasanjo, as military head of state, preparing to handover to a civilian government. While his, in a nutshell, was primed at good governance through eradication of corruption, I was wholeheartedly with you (even though you had a particular candidate in mind) from the point of a woman who reservedly spoke on such politically associated matters in the public forum, at least as far as I am aware of. And secondly, weighing it as part of completing your stewardship with an extreme passion for equity, stability and more cohesiveness in the state, to give a chance to someone from Edo Central Senatorial District, who speak Esan language in the main. I am comforted that it is a depiction of how first ladies ginger their spouses to do what is right in their daily schedule of duties in knotty matters of social engineering.
I commend the fact that your declaration raised the bar for better attention for the town, the place of my birth, in fellow feeling. It awakened the town’s history as the headquarters of Ishan (as Esan was anglicized) Division when colonialism set in 1906.
Next to that, since I know thee not in real life, my picture of you was emboldened by having enjoyed to a great deal your dancing pattern there as women are wont to do when charged with inspiration in a campaign stunt. I saw a lot of the video packaged by Happydays Studios, a private production outfit. Following that, I began taking a closer look at your pictures and videos that various news media afforded me. And then, I became a captive of the saying that “a picture is worth more than a thousand words”.
Since then, I extended a hand of fellowship with you in appreciation of your succeeding in bringing me back memories of Mama Alaruba (as we called her by her daughter’s name), that I knew as a family friend in my growing up days in the early 1960s in Kano City. Mama Alaruba was my mother’s intimate companion, of whom Mother proudly referred to with gusto as “my beautiful Kalabari sister”, as if without it she couldn’t convey a message about her, or cite her in any matter she was involved.
Added to Mama Alaruba’s outlook was dignified comportment, patent infectious laughter, and from the depths of an honest heart outpouring of soothing words lavished on us for healing as the situation dictated. In this context, my imagination tells me that two of you share a semblance of qualities since you are also of Buguma in Kalabari Kingdom of Rivers State. I congratulate you! To put it in Nigeria lingo, madam, na so una be? Una well done no! I never finish!
After pondering over who you really are to put you in another enhanced perspective, I bothered to ask innocent questions, at least on an introductory basis, from a longtime friend who knows you reasonably enough. My informant (Lucky by first name), who has a propensity for being an esteemed English grammarian reported that “she’s a tough woman oo, but very methodical” because of “her distaste for lazy people and those adept at cutting corners… thus preferring to work with those who are straight forward, sincere”, or that which he intended to rest it on your being able “to identify persons of diligent character”. What it means as the informant spun it, was that you “endeared yourself to people”.
Therefore ma, I am glad that this built my larger impression of you as a lady who brought admirable decency to bare while conducting yourself in office. I repeat again, I am happy, as I assumed it, that it cannot be farfetched from your being a recognized workaholic in your days in the Bank of Industry (BOI). Or, having tapped from the well acknowledged traits of your husband governor (Mr. Godwin Obaseki), supporting him in the art of governance; of excellent service, germane to harvesting tangible deliverables for the growth and progress of the state. I took more of this information as I read in This Day newspaper reports. In this direction, I am sure you had a great time of fulfillment. With it, I give my highest regards.
Dear ma, going to the specifics of your crying out loud in the crusade to protect human dignity and respect; of rooting out molestation of the sexual rights of girls, young ladies and women of Edo state deceived into desperation, of freeing some from the pangs of gender-based violence or drug related crime, of taking many afflicted persons dibilated by despair off the streets, of reducing neonatal deaths, I commemorate your feat of humanitarism in the rehabilitation programme for victims. I regretted my inability to visit the operational headquarters of your Centre for Women Development while I was in Benin City recently to further appreciate how you were anchoring your goals. Yet, I do celebrate you the more. When I was further educated that part of your course of action (in concert with Mr. Governor) was to fiercely ensure that those men, who, in any way were connected with abusing victims were compelled to face serious judicial reprimand, I hated to image you being livid with anger. There was a temptation to sense you in the likeness of former German Chancellor, Madam Angela Merkel, in her worklife of steely, yet authentic heart of an unwavering determination (as I interpreted my readings about her told in different ways) to accomplish great things in statecraft. I sincerely thank you.
I commend you too for penetrating the minds of beneficiaries under the Women of Agriculture and Enterprise, providing them nutrients in financial constraints to rebuild their lives, freeing more women from bondage. As I consistently boasted of this before some friends (as if I were an eyewitness) in Abuja, we resolved to be pleased that it complemented your profile as a heroine.
While your Betsy Obaseki Women’s Football Tournament (BOWFT) has been sensational in the calendar of sporting events over the years, with each annual edition taking on punchy campaign themes that project your resoluteness against social vices, the latest for 2024 tagged ‘Say No To Teen Pregnancy’, so elated my spirit that I instinctively blurted out “my gratitude to you ma’am”. Now that you are quitting the football pitch, so to say, and you then emphasizing that this one would be your last outing while kicking it off, (as I read in This Day newspaper), permit me as a fan of yours to encourage you to keep your eyes on the ball. I bank on your competency in the tactics of financial investment in the BOI stable to change position when maximally necessary, so as to keep afloat a credible machinery meant to bolster attention in the affairs of men and women under the BOWFT. This will help our young women tag along with you in affirmative action for a long time. After all, I am told that you have it or, is it that you belong to the Nigeria Women Leaders Forum. Unfortunately, because some back men (now called defenders) in my secondary school football days didn’t allow me to have a clearer view of their goal posts to score goals, I have a dumb idea about recruiting footballers into a star-studded team. What I may now can do for you is to offer my services in a supporters’ club.
In summary, would it sound pre-emptive of me to ask, can’t you document for public consumption your tenure at work in the first ladyship? Something that has never happened. I am convinced that you were a symbol and image of love, care giving and mending of hearts tenderly, as a handmaid of God. Thus, you must summon the courage to bypass certain negativities of the recent past. As you praise God, may He continue to keep you in His awesome presence, put you in the right frame of mind to “Let the music (from you) play on” as Lionel Richie tells it, in the new found land you immense yourself, wherever, however (of course in steady health) you would be. Cling to your name Betsy, or is it now “Besty”?
When I began writing this piece on Tuesday, 22 October, 2024, the feast day of St. John Paul II (my second patron saint), I was reminded of his words “Do not be afraid” (as he borrowed from Christ) … Open wide the doors for Christ”, while ascending the papacy, and by which the pope himself left an indelible mark in world history. To you I humbly entreat the same, as I bid you goodbye, ma’am excellency. I really thank you!
Emma Okondo lives in Abuja.
