Despite the trauma and dreadful encounters we experienced in 2020, we thank God that we made it into the New Year. But hey, 2021 will be tighter! Never mind, we will survive it like we did 2020 by the mercy of the Lord.
This year, many marriages will take place. Several single adults will locate their soulmates, most of whose affairs will culminate in marriage and stable companionship. There will be less ostentatious weddings this year. For admitting and living by the reality of economic downturn, many may choose to start their marital life with minimal or no fanfare at all.
God willing, in 2021, many more Hook Up subscribers will have their expectations met and their statuses changed from single to married. Single senior citizens angling for companions will defeat loneliness in a big way. I appreciate the patience of lonely grandmas who are in regular touch in earnest expectation of companions as their situations demand. As people advance in age, desire for conjugal fulfilment also becomes imperative. I appeal to mature single men to be more focused and decisive about their relationship this year. Enough of ‘touch and go’ kind of affairs.
It is not a prediction to say there would be problems in several homes. It is natural for crisis to brew among couples but I want to see less acrimonious situations that should not necessitate separation, divorce or murder. Spousal murders witnessed in Nigeria in the last few years should not be allowed to continue in the New Year. Couples should value their lives more than the knotty issues or interests at stake. In an event of irreconcilable differences, a warring couple can give each a space to calm frayed nerves during which evaluation of the situation could be done to engender grounds for true reconciliation. I insist, if either or both parties fail or refuse to yield grounds for compromise and reconciliation, let them stay apart. Lives matter than marriage. Jesus didn’t die on the cross because of marriage but for the souls of mankind. However, let’s try and explore every available opportunity for forgiveness, tolerance and mutual respect to stay together in marriage.
In the New Year, whoever is not helping you to build your life, business, home and future should be discarded. Enough of unprofitable baggage that slow you down in your journey of life.
One secret that couples could apply to reinvent attractiveness to each other is the fond memory of their early days in dating and courtship. The sweet experience of that beginning is totally lost on them. The radiating beauty and allure that usually captivate the attention and admiration of one to the other had faded. The habitual overlook of missteps, pranks and ‘expensive’ jokes have taken flight. Those promises of ‘forever with no other person but you’ has suddenly gone with the wind. Beyond the couples themselves, nosy in-laws, jealous friends and betraying confidantes are equally part of the problems. In the New Year, whoever is not helping you to build your life, business or career, home and future should be discarded. Enough of unprofitable baggage that slow you down in your journey of life.
The Bible says “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he (or she) who restrains his lips is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19). Revealing your secrets or plans that are still under wraps have thwarted many lucrative ideas and destroyed great relationships. This affects both sexes but more prevalent among women. Living in the realm of fantasy when you are still miles away from your conjectures could be counter-productive. Talking to impress is not a wise thing to do. Boastful utterances have robbed and denied some people life partners that could make their life dream come true.
I want to appeal to awaiting brides and grooms to review or scale down their lofty criteria for their would-be-partners. Their ‘out-of-the-reach’ standards and criteria have kept many of them, women in particular, aging without being married. I’m not an advocate of ‘anything goes’ when it comes to making a choice. I believe one should feel good about their partner in physique, character and responsibility. You don’t need a partner of the same mannerism for compatibility; rather, a partner whose attitudinal makeup will complement your own is all you need to build a stable, peaceful and happy home. I pray you will locate yours in 2021.
I notice that some of the single moms that have stayed alone for so long seem to find it difficult to live with men. This is because they are used to freedom and independence. Submitting to men when they have practically achieved some of their goals and foot their bills for years is distasteful to them. The irony of it is that they still crave for homes. They desire to have their own families. They travail in prayers, seek counselling and tell their loved ones and friends to find “husbands” for them. “It is not easy to be lonely. Every woman feels fulfilled being a wife. All I need is a good, caring, responsible and God-fearing man.” This is what most of them often say but in reality they find it hard to cope with men in marriage. They could be wonderful in dating but living under the same roof with a man is choking and suffocating to them. They feel gag cohabiting with men; therefore they opt for their space, freedom and independence again.
Meanwhile, there are simple ways to deal with such feelings in a woman. First, she should not only acknowledge her need of a partner but also come to terms with the reality of a new marital beginning which requires determination to succeed. Since she desires marriage, she should learn to ‘endure’ the initial inconveniences and change in living condition.
Second, she should cultivate the habit of flirting with her man whenever and wherever they are together at home. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about it. Regular body contact helps a lot. It is a process whereby physiological and psychological being will get acclimatise to the partner. Form the habit of doing stuff together like eating, bathing and washing as well as going out together as frequent as possible.
The last and the most effective process is to cultivate the habit of praying together. Make your time in the bedroom as interesting as possible. Make it fun-filled such that both of you will always look forward to. Let me reveal here that it is not going to be easy initially. It may become uninteresting and dry. You may want to back out of the exercise because you may find it irritating. Please stay on. Endure the ‘strange’ and ‘forceful’ love-in-Tokyo drama. As days roll into weeks, and weeks into months, you will soon discover that a new you is now attached emotionally to your man. The repulsive feeling will fade away ultimately as you breathe fresh air of love. It’s time and season to go afishing for love and new beginning.
I wish you a prosperous, safe and Covid-free 2021. Happy New Year!
- West wrote via mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk
