The lockdown foisted on the populace to contain Covid-19 pandemic has its unforeseen benefits. The fruits of the stay-at-home order are many except for limited economic resources available to many families. Under any circumstance, people are emotionally conscious of their intimate affairs.
The restriction order has been able to make neighbours get to know themselves, and in the process get familiar as well as becoming close friends. The lockdown, apart from being a strategy to contain Covid-19, has also been a blessing in fixing some troubled homes, pairing single adults with desired partners, rejuvenating spiritual wellbeing, opening up of new media space for personal and corporate businesses, and adopting e-congregation for religious activities among other things.
I received some testimonies from readers whose marital issues have been resolved and those whose statuses have changed from single to engaged and hopefully to become married eventually. “I really thank God for this lockdown. My husband and I have been living as flat mates for months. Sometimes we don’t talk to each other for a week. I was already planning quietly to take a walk from the marriage. He usually credit my account monthly for feeding and upkeep of our two children.
“He seldom eats at home. The situation got so bad in February that he started sleeping outside at will. I couldn’t query his whereabouts because we were not communicating with each other except on issues that concern our children. I became enraged but I have no avenue to express my anger and frustration. Therefore, I was making plans to surprise him by leaving the home with my children. There is a proposal in my office to open another operation base outside Lagos. I have positioned myself to go on transfer immediately the management gives its nod.
“Surprisingly, Lagos government ordered a stay-at-home the same week the proposal was to be discussed at the management meeting. And when President Mohammadu Buhari announced a lockdown in Lagos, we were forced to stay in-door together. By the end of the first week of the lockdown, children had forced us talking but not intimately as husband and wife but as concerned parents. I know his nature, he barely can endure his urges for long but he feigned abstinence at home because he has an alternative outside.
“Your April 3, 2020 article which x-rayed situations in many homes during the lockdown got me thinking. I sent it to him on WhatsApp. A few days later, I decided to make the move towards resolving our issues. It initially turned stormy and argumentative with shouting at each other. I reasoned within me that I made this move for a purpose, so, it must not fail. I looked straight into his flaming eyes and I said ‘but we didn’t start this way, what exactly has gone wrong? We used to be best of friends, where did we miss it? Are you sure you are happy being married but sad at home? Tell me, what are my faults and I will correct them.’
“Sir, his response was ‘baby, I’m sorry!’ Let me spare you the details of how it ended that night and till now. You won’t believe that he read this mail before I sent it to you and he patted me on the back, saying ‘it will inspire other warring couples to make peace with themselves.’ He promised not to allow disagreement to fester any longer in our home. Thank God for the lockdown. I’m enjoying honeymoon part two now. Stay safe, sir.”
I looked straight into his flaming eyes and I said ‘but we didn’t start this way, what exactly has gone wrong? We used to be best of friends, where did we miss it? Are you sure you are happy being married but sad at home? Tell me, what are my faults and I will correct them
As I was about concluding this column on Wednesday, another exciting testimony dropped in my mailbox. Meanwhile, there are other mails and SMS I couldn’t use because of space constraint, but this one appears to be funny but true. Read her story:
“God used the lockdown to fix my life in an unexpected way. I experienced the worst form of loneliness while the stay-at-home and lockdown order endured. I normally go to work at 5am every working day of the week and return late in the evening. My housemaid didn’t return from her village when she went on Christmas holiday. And since I have nobody living with me, I saw no need to engage another maid. I spent my weekend doing home chores and to attend social events. I felt no serious need for a man in my life since my marriage broke up a few years back. I have been into a few relationships but I didn’t devote deserved attention to any because of my job.
“Since October last year, I was not in any relationship. I missed nothing and I felt good living my life that way. However, my conceited opinion that I really do not need a man suddenly disappeared in the lockdown. By the beginning of the second week of the first phase of the lockdown, it dawned on me that I was holding a wrong view about the need of a companion. I started searching the contacts in my phone to reconnect with some of my admirers who I never cared about. Unfortunately, most of them didn’t respond while those who picked my calls were not available.
“Some of my friends and colleagues who are single women and lonely moms have similar tales to share with me. So, men are this essential? I couldn’t believe it. Suddenly, all the prowling men disappeared. They became scarce commodities. It’s not funny. I can’t write the crazy things that went through my mind at the time. God has a way of showing up at critical moments in one’s life. My help came when the notorious one million boys came calling in my area. For almost a week, we stayed awake outside throughout the nights.
“Neighbours started talking and getting familiar with one another. In the process, a man whom I didn’t know was separated from his wife until we got talking one night became my gist mate. Each night, I looked forward to seeing him outside; he lives about four houses away. He started visiting me in the daytime and our friendship snowballed into intimacy. Imagine the two of us all alone in my apartment for hours talking, eating and drinking. I can’t remember any formal proposal before we started filling the void for each other.
“As I write this mail, Mr. West, he’s at home waiting for my arrival from work. His office still asks the staff to work from home. We are now practically living a couple’s life. If the signals from him is anything to go by, we may end up as Mr. and Mrs. Never again will I be too busy to ignore my love life. Covid-19 lockdown really brought out the hidden nature and cravings in many people, especially women.”
While it appeared to be fun watching videos by sex starved women on social media, the need for companionship is real. Beyond sex, we need each other to talk with, plan with and share and care for each other. A video where a young woman was complaining of too much sex when her man was forcing her to “get inside” caused a single mom lamenting in her comment that “what someone is hungrily looking for is what another woman is tired of getting.” That’s an irony of life. Stay safe.
