Loneliness, like coronavirus, do kill. The emotional condition does not respect gender, class or colour. The truth is that women go through the trauma more than men. Loneliness is the absence of a companion or a vacuum yet unfilled in the emotional life of the sufferer. It is not funny to know that some married women still experience loneliness even with the presence of their husbands. Such situation is a consequence of acrimony and malice in the home.
However, women seem to deny or pretend about the reality of their need of men in their lives. Miffed single moms in particular are fond of dismissing the importance of men as a matter of “opinion” or “option.” Not a few women grandstand that they slip into moody condition only when there’s no money to spend or when their businesses are not thriving. “Men are the least of our worries,” so they claim.
For women who have attained much in terms of financial security, flourishing businesses, cozy shelters and automobiles, what else do they crave for? Men! The irony of life is that the needs and desires of individuals vary. The level and status of people often sift their needs from their wants. The feminist creed that having men in their lives is secondary to economic and financial independence is rather disingenuous. I will respond to this jaundiced opinion later in this article.
I see the conceited idea as a mere conjecture. As earlier stated, levels or status always dictate the needs, wants and cravings of individuals in relation to the reality of the circumstance and/or situation. Men are inevitably a paramount need in the life of every woman because men are the status change agents; they make women become mothers; they are the most effective tranquilizers for women to stem mood swing and bad moments; they are the pillars and pride of their women; they are not just the head but also the glory of their women; men are the security of their wives, children and the fortress of their larger family members as well as their in-laws. In this context, I refer to responsible husbands, truly mature and fatherly men who conduct themselves in worthy manner in their households and the society.
It is common knowledge that single women do experience moments of loneliness more frequently. It is emotional moments that highlight the vacuum money or children can’t fill. During the lonely moments, women are more rational in thinking and admit their need of male companions. Loneliness is not good for any adult. God designed marriage for dual purposes of companionship between the man his wife; and, in essence, that the couple might have fellowship with Him (God). These two fundamentals are the barometers for measuring fulfilling and purpose-driving unions.
Covid-19 lockdown has brought to the fore the agony that single women often conceal. Many of them are likely going to be on the lookout for befitting companions henceforth. I watched a funny video by a woman who was lamenting the lockdown without romantic intimacy to complement it. “They asked us to stay in-door and drink alcohol to prevent coronavirus infection but there’s no man to complement the package. Nobody wants to invite someone over. Why are men running away from sex? Why?” she asked.
Several single moms have resolved to find love again as soon as the lockdown is over. “Now I truly realise that two are better than one. I never envisaged this level of isolation and loneliness in my life. We can continue to pretend but the truth is that every woman needs a man in her life. It is better imagined than expressed, sir. I have food at home; I even reached out to some of my neighbours and friends in alleviating the suffering of the lockdown. Honestly, there are problems money can’t practically solve,” a caller has said.
A divorced woman who had scorned the counsel to “move on” for more than four years shared her friend’s experience with me on Tuesday. “The issue about men is not a matter of joke anymore. I was shocked to see my friend weeping for love. When things were normal, she ignored overtures from several admirers until she started dating a man last year. Her lover, a married man, has not given her a call or sent any message to her since the lockdown started. She seriously feel sad, lonely and now decided to take a shot at marriage again,” she said, adding that “I’m also following suit, sir. It’s not easy at all.”
Apparently, some hitherto quarreling couples have resolved their issues. Thanks to the lockdown. Side-chics, as they are tagged, are on holiday. It is possible that things may not be the same with those involved in extramarital affairs when the lockdown is over. This development further reinforces the inevitability of men as well as the importance of marriage.
Anna, a 29-year-old woman from Sydney, said it’s hard to be single during coronavirus. According to her, she has never felt more “lonely and jealous of her coupled-up friends” unlike now. “Whenever we’re free to roam again, I definitely want to put more effort into my dating life. Before the lockdown, I was lazily dating but not really enjoying it or putting all that much effort into it,” Angelica, another single woman has said.
However, apart from conjugal intimacy, loneliness can kill when a single adult falls under ill-health attacks without immediate help. A woman called Sarah said “I’m an asthmatic which means, I’m at an increased risk of suffering serious illness from COVID-19. So, I’m actually in my third week of lockdown.”
Lesley, 39, has a chronic pain condition called anky losing spondylitis which makes her an at-risk individual. “I have to be particularly careful when it comes to COVID-19 and self-isolation as my dad also falls into the at-risk category,” she said.
Angelica, 30, admitted to feeling “achingly lonely.” She is also diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar disorder II. “Staying level (stable) when it comes to my mental health has been difficult,” she explained, adding “the anxiety and depression have been the toughest part of self-isolation.”
Women who fail to keep homes but not due to their faults are innocent victims of loneliness at this perilous season. Many of those who married wrong partners are experiencing loneliness as if they are still unmarried.
Another set of women experiencing loneliness are those flaunting superficial lifestyle; such as pretending to be self-sufficient when they actually need helpers; claiming to be far above the level they are still anticipating to attain; dressing in borrowed robes to grandstand in social circles are veritable factors that keep some supposed wives single.
There are lazy women, too. They hate hard work, preferring easier but less dignified way to earn money by engaging in illicit businesses or having affairs with fraudsters. Until the lockdown, many single women were able to cope with their loneliness and anxiety through the mechanisms of friendship, social events etc. The need of companions is a big lesson that Covid-19 lockdown has thought every single adult. As soon as we overcome the pandemic, please work towards a new conjugal beginning. Do stay and play safe. Cheers!
Quote:
“Now I truly realise that two are better than one. I never envisaged this level of isolation and loneliness in my life. We can continue to pretend but the truth is that every woman needs a man in her life. It is better imagined than expressed, sir. Honestly, there are problems money can’t practically solve.”
