‘A typical governor’s home is sacrificed on the altar of public service . . . the basic conjugal needs like their husbands’ attention and sex suddenly become a luxury or near unavailable throughout their tenure. We can now understand why some First Ladies are emotionally hostile and harsh!’
The nature of a man is easily detected through his interactions with people and perceptions of issues. Position and wealth are never concealers of weaknesses or character traits. Rather, power, influence and authority are the fermenting catalysts that usually get occupiers of exalted offices intoxicated through unpredictable utterances and behaviours. Incidentally, men with such raw mannerism usually turn out to be more dependable, loyal and responsible husbands.
True to their nature, they are not so romantic when it comes to love play. They rarely entertain prolonged wooing of women as they prefer to go straight to the point whenever or wherever they find love. Regardless of what others might think about their actions and utterances, they’re habitually candid, less tolerant of nuances of diplomacy and pretence. One of such maverick personalities is the immediate past governor of Oyo State, Senator Abiola Ajimobi. These descriptions are some of the traits that signpost the character of the neatly mustached-politician, according to his wife, Florence Ajimobi.
The First Lady recalls with nostalgia how her husband proposed to her like a typical “Ibadan man” without the usual allure of romance and mollycoddling. He won her heart because they had been close friends for a while. The charming Ajimobi had never hidden his true nature for once. Being her gist mate, she’d been addicted to his attention, evening walks and doing virtually everything together.
Meanwhile, the common practice with the couple is to table every issue for discussion in order to arrive at the best possible decision. The practice was punctured in 2003 when, against their convention, he simply walked in and announced to bewildered Florence that “I’m going into politics.” Initially she thought it was a huge joke. She responded that she’s not in support, hoping he would table the matter for proper discussion but nay, “he said that’s his decision and there’s no going back on it.” That’s when it dawned on her that she hasn’t known her man enough.
Every great thing, level or status is achievable at a cost. It is rare to toil through to success or greatness without experiencing some challenges or giving up some things for the sake of the target. This is the stark reality of life as evidenced in the testimony of successful people and great achievers. Many of those who pray for positions of authority or influence forget to recognize that there’s a price to pay. Incidentally, many people hate to suffer denials at their new levels.
The thinking that all is rosy and cozy for people in power and affluent positions is not always true. Some apprehension do accompany such status. What commoners do take for granted is often the envy of the high and the mighty. For instance, many people in leadership positions don’t enjoy privacy like other citizens. Whereas the affluent are envious of the freedom and social life of the common citizen, in the reversed order, the commoner would be praying for, dreaming and hoping of attaining the affluent status knowing it would better his/her lot. The former situation is the graphic description of life in many top political office holders’ homes especially at the senator’s level upward.
Those at the receiving end of this chequered situation are the immediate family members of the executives. While the people out there are seeing glamour, wealth and perks of office, the family members are enduring circumstantial abandonment, loneliness, living in ‘confinement’, loss of social life, ebbed family life and restricted access to fun. These (and perhaps many more) are the lot of most First Ladies while in office.
According to the immediate past First Lady of Oyo State, Florence Ajimobi, while appreciating God for improved status through service to the people as offered by her husband, Senator Ajimobi, life as a governor’s wife is not what she desires again. Her husband’s two terms as governor was a big ‘loss’ to her family life.
“For eight straight years, I ‘sacrificed’ my friend to politics and public service. Our family life was at the lowest ebb. Meetings, work and politics took him away from me. He was nowhere for me as my husband or father to his children. In fact, the children hardly see him,” she said, adding that what she missed the most was his companionship because they were gist mates from the beginning of their relationship.
She explains that living in Abuja while her husband was a senator remains a dark moment of her marital life. The Abuja experience is not palatable for her at all. In her word: “I was lonely most of the time. My social life was gone. I missed everything a marriage should be. I wouldn’t want a repeat of such experience.” If, as a senator’s wife she laments loneliness, being a governor’s wife was more challenging. The difference is that she engaged her time with supportive activities as First Lady and she’s within the reach of her people.
Life as First Lady was a harrowing experience for her. “I think eight years is too long. One term of six years should be okay. Our children missed their father because he’s rarely available. Even as his wife, he’s no longer available. Most of the time he came to bed at 3am. He would crash into sleep almost immediately tired and fagged out. Usually he would apologise saying ‘madam, I’m tired please.’ The next moment, he’s deep asleep,” she explains, adding that life in Government House is not as pleasant, satisfying and desirable as people think. Indeed, not all that’s glittering is real gold.
Like the title of a popular television series: “The Rich Also Cry”, but in this case, “The Affluent Also Lament.” A typical governor’s home is sacrificed on the altar of public service. Mrs. Ajimobi was even luckier during her time compared to some of her contemporaries who live like “widows” not because they lack food to eat or money to spend (though some really don’t have enough to spend) but that the basic conjugal needs like their husbands’ attention and sex suddenly become a luxury or near unavailable throughout their tenure. We can now understand why some First Ladies are emotionally hostile and harsh!
Florence Ajimobi is a beautiful, intelligent, articulate and confident woman. She oozes dignity with rich connection with her root. She’s not blinded by the perks of office to attract any scandal or demonstrate ostentatious lifestyle that would question her modesty. Despite bottled-up discontent brought about by her status, she stood firmly by her audacious man who kept heaping battles on several fronts for the most part of his tenure.
Whenever you see the glamour of a governor’s wife, remember the sacrifice she’s making for the people even to her own inconvenience. Therefore, women like Mrs. Ajimobi should be celebrated and saluted for the big price they pay in the public interest. Her book offers more insight into the flipside of life in power as a governor’s wife.
Entitled “My Life Like A Rainbow,” the book contains her thoughts and experiences as a politician’s wife and First Lady. It is an eye-opener for those in public offices especially their spouses. The book demystifies opulence, perceived comfort and class associated with public offices, in particular, those of Senators, Governors and the President.
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