This is the month of anxiety! It is not anxiety about financial commitments or economic challenges only, it is also about the apprehension to change status from single to married. Every December, while some relationships are crumbling for diverse reasons and new ones are springing up, several others are stagnant. This year, efforts geared towards attaining a new marital status by some eligible single adults are gradually becoming a mirage as the year comes to an end. Notwithstanding, fate favours those who are fortunate to achieve their marital desires in 2019.
With four days to go, accountable individuals are already taking stock of their activities to know their scorecards for 2019 as part of their preparations for the New Year. Just as noteworthy achievements are the signposts of a successful year, areas where nothing significant has been achieved are expected to receive attention as a matter of priority in 2020. Regardless of the economic status, social challenges and political upheavals in our clime, having a successful relationship is a priority to every adult. They’re so concerned and passionate about their love life.
No fewer than five million weddings take place annually in Africa, and Nigeria accounts for a good percentage of the number. As soon as one attains adulthood, ultimate life in marriage becomes a focus. Academic altitudes, business or career prospects are shaped based on the anticipated marital relationship. All these are factored into plans for a greater future in a family life.
Ironically, those who successfully navigate their paths through ‘turbulent’ dating/courtship periods into consummation are not as many as those who made failed attempts, apart from those who are waiting to be engaged. I have no statistics to determine the success rate of singles that got married or that will still be married before the year rolls by, but my observation points to the likelihood of a low success rate in 2019.
Obviously, some relationships had hit the rock this year. Also, a number of marriages broke up, while some new ones came to being. There are those who are under pressure because they had set 2019 as target for themselves to be married. I actually witness an upsurge in the number of those registering for Hook Up service since we entered the ember months. It is quite interesting as some of them gave me a marching order that they MUST marry in the remaining weeks or days of this year.
I quite understand their situation but most of the long-lasting relationships don’t happen that way. The good news is that many of those recently hooked up are flowing well. I received notifications from a few who are spending Christmas holiday together in their partners’ home towns. I wish them well. I believe the New Year will witness a boom in the harvest of marriages.
However, I do not subscribe to desperation as a means to attaining a good end. Anything achieved through desperation may not last. A young woman called on Tuesday evening to say she had assured her parents way back in January that she would bring her husband home for Christmas. As we speak, she’s not even in relationship. She had ruled out the possibility of traveling home for holidays. “I will send money to them (parents),” while feigning an official trip that would cover Christmas period as her alibi. “Otherwise, how would I face my parents and what excuse will I give again? I was ready for just any man but you counseled against such move. I will wait for my own man. He will locate me in the New Year,” she said in a jaded tone.
The most hurtful and regrettable action in relationship is to get married to just ‘anyhow’ person. Like a reader once told me, “Though I’m a single mom, yet, I have a choice. I know what I look out for in a man. It doesn’t matter the number of women out there looking for husbands, mine will locate me. I’m an answer to someone’s prayers. In fact, I’m someone’s prayer point. I’m very sure that some responsible men out there are waiting on God in prayers for my kind of a woman.” What a confidence!
Who is the person that sets a deadline for your marriage? Who is God among the mortals that will determine when you will get married? With God on your side, your time will surely come! Notwithstanding how long you have been waiting, 2020 will usher you into the relationship that would actualize your marital dream and expectation.
There are women who approached me for hook up but they are actually not ready for any serious relationship or marriage. Reason: while collecting their personal information, I found out they don’t have any value they’re bringing to the table. They can’t cook good meals, they’re fantasizing about engaging housemaids that would do their domestic shores etc. They see their beauty and sexy body frames as the assets that would earn them good homes and responsible men.
Such women are easy to know especially on the social media. They snap and upload their photographs almost every hour of the day. They’re always online not for meaningful purposes like marketing business ideas, products or contributing to national discourse but to showcase their looks in order to attract men for hangouts or dates. I believe one can meet his or her partner online but serious-minded wifely women don’t advertise their looks in a provocative or seductive manner. There are male types of these women. They hunt for preys online with superficial posh package that would make women of means and good background to fall cheaply to their antics.
I know a 57-year-old single dad who is ready to marry soonest but the types of women coming his path are mostly those he describes as pretenders, jobless women who are not even ready to work or engage themselves in any productive vocation. He’s interested in the ‘real’ woman and not the flashy, cosmetic and lousy type. She could be a single mom, widow or never-being-married single mature woman. Irrespective of her profession, status at work, academic or family background, a truly wifely woman will wear his ring in the New Year.
I have a long list of beautiful women on Hook Up register that God will fix them up in 2020. Thanks for your time to read this column throughout the year. See you on top in 2020. Do have a prosperous New Year ahead. Cheers!
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“There are those who are under pressure because they had set 2019 as target for themselves to be married. I actually witness an upsurge in the number of those registering for Hook Up service since
