The Man, His Queen and the ‘Girls’, By Michael West

The Ajimobis are newsmakers. The immediate past helmsman of Oyo State, Senator Abiola Ajimobi, is a non-aligned politician whose bravery is repulsive to many. A well-trimmed, fashionable and audacious personality, Senator Ajimobi is a family man with a difference. Like some of his political yoke fellows, he, being a Muslim, married a Christian prayer addict and family strategist as wife. Florence, 61, is a silent warrior who is battle-ready at all times to protect her family territory.

She made a wave on the social media through a disclosure on an Instagram Live conversation with her daughter four days after her (Mrs. Ajimobi’s) birthday, precisely April 9, 2020. She’s not known to be an attention seeker or controversial. She is calm but strong-willed. A disciplinarian extraordinaire whose children initially felt their dad was a better friend than their “tough” mother. Being a woman with perceptive foresight and optimism, she knew from the onset that her husband has a great destiny to fulfill ahead. Apparently bracing up for the challenges associated with greatness and success in the future, she immersed herself in the business of home-making through quality nurturing of her children and fortifying herself with prayers, wisdom, native intelligence, self-discipline, reading and contentment which are all godly virtues.

Mrs. Ajimobi, in her statement, described the ‘girls’ who rollick with her husband as merely eating her “leftover.” She stated: “Even on one or two occasions that I have caught him cheating, he would apologise. Once he does that, it ends. I never go back to them again. I never ever discussed it. To err is human but to forgive is divine. Even as a wife, sometimes I fall below his expectations. Sometimes, we do things that are even worse than cheating.

“But I think when most men cheat, they just have sex with women. When a man is having a relationship with a woman he loves, he’s making love and not just sex.” She then dared the side-chicks to go ahead and have some moments with her husband. “So, if you are cute enough, give yourself to my husband, he’s mine. He will use you and come back to me. He’s my leftover, I have eaten the better part of him.”

I won’t be surprised if one or two of the side-chicks are close to Mrs. Ajimobi especially among those addressing her as “auntie.” Such is life! Let’s thank God that Mr. Senator was not harmed in the process. Desperate women could be very dangerous. That’s why extramarital affair is a risky adventure.

For disclosing that her husband cheated on her is no news. Everybody knows Ajimobi is a ladies’ man. He’s rich, handsome and sociable. Her experience in loneliness and ‘neglect’ in Abuja during her husband’s stint at the National Assembly as a senator had further insulated her from the frenetic feelings of jealousy and suspicion. If she had reacted harshly like a typical Nigerian woman, she would have received hard knocks for being ‘intemperate.’ It is a battle she may not win even in the court of women’s opinion if she had taken a confrontational approach.

Politicians are not saints. Like other mortals, they do have some moments of relaxation during their usual day-long or nocturnal meetings and while on campaign trains. Many leading politicians across the levels do indulge in extramarital sexual pleasure. Like Ajimobi, most of them cherish their homes. They care about their families and provide for the needs of their dependent relatives, political associates and friends.

“The big question is, will uncle Ajimobi consistently forgive his queen if she’s the one caught twice cheating on his Excellency? In our clime, it is assumed that we are in men’s world, hence men can go scot-free with some moral infringements while women have no choice than to endure the hurt.”

Florence Ajimobi knew beforehand that uneasy lies on the head that wears the crown. To be great and successful, it has its own challenges, one of which is how to cope with hurtful indulgences and disappointing behaviours of one’s spouse. If Senator Ajimobi did not make overtures to women, they would parade or ‘market’ themselves to him because he has what they are looking for. After reading Mrs. Ajimobi’s statement on the social media, some women became livid with anger. “Men are wicked! What else does Ajimobi is looking for that is not available in his beautiful wife? Ha! Meeeen! Na so dem dey do. Abi dey take women swear for them?” That was a comment on a platform in response to the story.

Like I stated earlier, Mrs. Ajimobi has not revealed anything unexpected except for her courage to disclose such a private issue through a public channel. Trust her man, he will read the stuff and joke about it. I want to imagine the possible response of the former governor to his wife: “Now that the whole world is aware that you caught me twice, what next? Didn’t I apologise? Florence, don’t tell me you are competing with those girls. After all, I’m now ‘born again.’ When last did I stay late outside or go to Abuja without you? We are no longer at Agodi Government House. Hmmm. Florenceee! Iwo lo mo o (Na you sabi).”

That his wife enjoys freedom of expression without censorship of any kind goes to show that the Ajimobis run a good home. They relate with each other as jolly friends. They sustain each other’s confidence and trust despite occasional letdowns. Their children are best for it. It would be difficult for any of them to cope with a conjugal dictator. Coming from a home molded in love, understanding and mutual respect will go a long way in configuring their mentality for the future.

Three things are the gauge to measure the true character of a man. They are: money, status and power. The last two are interwoven, and sometimes apply their separate influence independently. Of the three, money is the most potent. It can influence the two. Power is often derived from status or position. Money sometimes could be a benefit of status and power. Money and power make a man vulnerable to serious temptations like pride, women and abuse of office or privilege. The true nature of a man is best known when he’s in position of authority or when he’s rich. Possibly, Ajimobi has attained the three as at the time he cheated on his queen.

Mrs. Ajimobi has demonstrated the traits of a virtuous woman and as a good example to other women. Through godly precepts she imbibed, she is able to conquer jealousy, bad temperament (at least in the open) and becomes patient in the face of provocation, endure hurtful utterances/actions, and cope with conjugal denial on the pretext of public service by her husband. Yet, she still trusts and celebrates her husband without recrimination or pretence. Though she acknowledges her own shortcomings, too, yet, Mrs. Ajimobi has proved to be an epitome of a supporting wife, loving mom and the matriarch of the Ajimobis.

The big question is, will uncle Ajimobi consistently forgive his queen if she’s the one caught twice cheating on his Excellency? In our clime, it is assumed that we are in men’s world, hence men can go scot-free with some moral infringements while women have no choice than to endure the hurt. African society is not fair to women. Men should strive to be disciplined and honour their wives by eschewing behaviours that would hurt them.

mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk

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