Matchmaking is the first and most credible way of meeting life partners. From the cradle of civilization to date, the nobles, the wealthy and the privileged class members of the society have been more involved in picking life partners for their children especially within their own level or circle. The choice of spouses is very important as the sustenance of their affluence and business empires depend so much on it. Spouses are automatic partakers of destiny, business, estate and the future of one’s lineage. Incidentally, God, the Creator of mankind, actually initiated that process in the Garden of Eden with the first family on earth. God brought Eve to Adam, and Adam instantly admired, loved and got fascinated to Eve. By this action, love at first sight could be real!
There are many ways and places people do meet and strike the chord of relationships. Every avenue of human interaction is a potential opportunity for connecting with missing ‘ribs.’ People meet at worship centres, cinema, parks, beach, in public transport, in the neighbourhood, at wedding, naming and burial ceremonies, through friends, after a rough encounter like argument or quarrel, at sporting events venue, on walkways, in banking halls, at shopping centres, at work or in the course of duty, at eateries, in the markets, at saloons, gyms, filling stations, on flights, at schools, at hospitals, at accident scenes, at police stations, at the airports, at motor parks, at the bus stops, on social media platforms among other places.
In the larger society decades back, parents, most of who were peasants, traders and skilled craftsmen, often determined which families their children would marry from. Customarily, they will investigate the would-be in-laws’ lineage to know if there’s any illness, mental case, premature death, poverty, bareness, marital failure, spiritual issue or social stigma in the family. More often than not, children rarely reject the choices of their parents because they knew parental decisions were in their best interest.
Virtually all the marriages worked out by parental arrangement in that glorious era endured. Despite challenges, the marriages survived the odds because the parents were the ‘sureties’ and arbiters at every point of need or crisis. Respect for parents, desired to be responsible couples, fear of stigma in case of divorce, protection of children and family names or reputation were pivotal to the success of marriages at that time.
People at work do introduce their friends and loved ones to those they are convinced will treat them well in relationship or marriage. Spiritual leaders, especially ministers of God are much more involved in the business of matchmaking. Being confidants and reservoirs of secrets to awaiting brides and grooms, it is much easier for pastors to connect people together based on the privileged information they have about such adults most of who are their church members. Similarly, too, many of such marriages do endure.
Neighbours, colleagues, church members and associates are very common nexus for matchmaking. In this jet age, parental involvement has been reduced to zero level. And I want to believe it is one of the reasons value for marriage is waning as occasioned by frequent separation and divorce cases, domestic assaults, infidelity, philandering and reckless home abandonment. All necessary checks on the background of the spouse before marriage is contracted are no longer done. This negligence possibly is responsible for some hard-hitting circumstances that seem to defy logics and human solution.
I’m also aware of some career matchmakers in town. Many of them deal with high profile individuals either in need of momentary sexual satisfaction or life partners. How successful this trade has been especially in getting people connected for marriage I can’t quantify but I’m persuaded it could have indeed helped many; perhaps except those who might be wary of being matched with complete strangers.
Relationship managers, counselors, coaches and ministers are equally good matchmakers. They are custodians of love-seeking people’s requests. For instance, I have more female subscribers on my Hook Up service than men. The way a relationship counselor or minister will connect people together will be different from the others mentioned earlier. Some of the roles being played by the parents in the ages past do reflect in a relationship counselor’s approach.
In addition, social media platforms and dating sites have made connections easier but the seriousness and trustworthiness of the people on the other side are a different matter entirely. In some cases, online mates do appear sharply different from the highly cosmetic and photo-tricked pictures they see on the internet. In that case, ‘please shine your eyes!’
As love-seekers do pray, attend social events and hangout at fun centres hunting for partners, they should not shy away from telling a few trusted persons around them of their need. There are huge benefits in meeting life partners through somebody, especially good people. As the saying in Yoruba that a needle that has tread is never lost; so, any relationship that involves good people from the onset has chances of survival and eventual consummation. The couple will always have someone or people to run to in moments of crisis. Wise guidance through counseling, prayers, frank talks, scolding (sometimes if necessary), pampering and encouragement are never in short supply for the couple. These were the parental functions that steadied the homes of their children in the ages past.
From Mailbox
Re: Guys, Your Looks Speak!
Dressing and lifestyle are interwoven. One’s dressing determines who the person actually is in the eyes of the society. This is why people must be guided on what they put on because the society will judge them by how they look. The church that is supposed to speak on moderation for both male and female are not doing it for selfish reasons of losing offerings and other financial supports to the church. Sad! _- Chief Emo, Abuja
Re: The Flipside of Governor’s Home
Wow! This is quite educating, revealing and interesting. Thanks for a job well done. Where can I get the book to buy? It’s a must-read.- Mrs. Smith, Abuja
Re: ‘I Prefer Woman Living with HIV as Wife’
Abstinence still remains the best policy ordained by God, and tests before marriage. HIV may be manageable, but the attendant complications still kill. People rarely die of it. They die of HIV related complications. I wish him well and God’s healing. -Liz, Lagos
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