“He held me by hand, brought out a small wine-colour ring box and asked, looking tenderly into my eyes, ‘Babe, for real, will you be my wife?’ Sir, that was the surprise I least expected. 2020 is my year!”
I started this New Year on a joyful note as two women called to break the news of the marriage proposals they received as New Year gifts from their partners. Incidentally, their calls came in some hours into the New Year. The first call came from a 37-year-old secondary school teacher who went with her Anambra State-born fiancé to his home country for Christmas holiday. The second came about five hours later from a 31-year-old postgraduate student in Lagos. According to her, “We attended the crossover night together in my church. As we got back to his apartment, he went into his wardrobe, took something and slid it into his pocket and came to meet me in the sitting room. He held me by hand, brought out a small wine-colour ring box and asked, looking tenderly into my eyes, ‘Babe, for real, will you be my wife?’ Sir, that was the surprise I least expected. 2020 is my year! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, sir. I’m grateful.”
All things being equal, I have declared it in the last week edition of this column that 2020 will witness a bumper harvest of marriages for most eligible single adults. I want to advise that whoever is on the lookout for a life partner should get prepared. Get engaged in productive jobs or vocations. As a woman, don’t just rely on your body features as your ultimate asset that would earn you a good husband. Have a source or sources of income to take care of your needs and meet your obligations through which you will be a dependable ‘helper’ to your would-be husband. Be a neat house keeper, a good chef, a hardworking and romantic woman. Improve on your human relations and reduce your snappy temperament. Scathing, abusive and insulting utterances have been the undoing of many women. Men don’t like to marry hostile, disrespectful and heady women. Work on your weaknesses and not tolerate or pamper them. If possible, crush the traits that have made you lose good men in the past. Avoid transferring aggression to innocent persons. Deal with people on their individual merit and not be judgmental. Live a life of reality by quitting deceptive realm of fantasy. Don’t live to please others or allow their opinions to determine your worth. Remember that God created each person uniquely, hence our fingerprints are not the same. Stop wasting your time looking for a perfect man, only God is perfect. Look for a good man you can appreciate as your man in key areas of life.
As a man, enough of ‘sampling’ women on the pretext of searching for the ‘missing ribs.’ There won’t be Miss Faultless for you to marry because you, too, are not faultless. You should break the jinx of prolonged search which actually is due to your own insatiable urge for an ‘angel’ to marry. Unknowingly, some men are actually operating under some spells which keep them perpetually single.
I received many calls, mails and massages throughout the Yuletide. Most of those who spoke with me were at the verge of taking definite decisions on their love life. Some requested for counseling, prayers and matchmaking through Hook Up service. Likewise, there are a few complicated relationships which we are still working on, I trust that 2020 will usher in more fulfilling and lasting relationships for the readers of this column.
Through the previous year, many widows, widowers and single parents lived lonely, burdensome and helpless life in our midst. I heard some heartrending tales of lack, sickness and abandonment from some of them. They are easy targets of exploitation, abuse and neglect. 2020 will bring succour and turnaround of situation their way. I will partner with those who are willing to offer help in whatever capacity to these awesome people.
For singles, both men and women, I will create more time to facilitate dates and matchmaking only for the mature, serious-minded and ready-to-marry adults in 2020. Singles at the professional, corporate or executive cadres will be treated with utmost confidence and attention they desire to get them paired in the New Year. Just keep your faith alive in God and your flanks open to be reachable, accessible and approachable.
During the last year, quite a number of married people especially women, shared their ordeals, challenges and the need for help to steady their shaky homes. Common among the perturbing issues are the act of gross irresponsibility, uncaring and incurable philandering attitudes of their husbands. Unknowingly, the seemingly unremorseful disposition of these men are almost tearing their homes apart. I trust in God that His peace will locate every troubled home in this New Year.
Many people in abusive relationships also cried out for help. Surprisingly, this ugly scenario cut across both sexes. I remember a couple of married men who shared their tales of woes. One of them was considering filing for divorce while the other wanted to experiment with polygamy as a possible panacea to the bossy, unruly and care-free attitudes of his wife. I have the confidence that many of such cases will be resolved and sanity, mutual respect and renewed conjugal affection will be restored in such homes in the New Year.
Amicable resolution of knotty issues like these keeps the remembrance of Nigeria’s foremost relationship counselor on radio, Charles Bruce Chukuma aka Chaz B, on my mind. He passed on at St. Nicholas Hospital in Lagos on November 22, 2014. Live on radio, Chaz B had reconciled many warring couples with each of them stating their cases and grievances.
I remember a woman who called from Jos, Plateau State, already packing her belongings to quit her home due to a number of frustrating actions of her husband. Chaz B did not only communicate peace, settled the acrimony but ultimately led the man to Christ and prayed for the family. I lost count of the number of singles that got married by matchmaking courtesy of Chaz B; and their homes are still standing till date.
Two days ago, Wednesday, January 1, 2020 was Chaz B’s posthumous birthday. May his soul keep resting while the fruits of his labour of love abide. Amen.
Send your responses/private issues to: *Email: mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk*
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