Quite a number of marriages now last between 3-9 months after the wedding, and it seems a lot of people are getting used to it. I once met a lady who was 36 at that time, divorced and seeking for my matchmaking service. I was concerned when she said she has just left her second marriage. A 43-year-old guy who also applied for the same service, told me that he has five children, but from four different mothers. Both of them told me that they were looking for that perfect relationship that they say they believe is out there.
After speaking to them for some time, it’s usually hard for me to be convinced that what they need is a perfect relationship, or a perfect person, because none of that exists, neither is any of that promised. Although I believe you can have a great relationship with a wonderful person, and with some noticeable flaws that both of you can work around with the grace that God supplies in His mercy for that friendship or marriage. However, when you notice that the flaws in the person, male or female is more than the balance or stability in that individual, then, that’s a red flag that ALL IS NOT WELL. If you have more flaws than balance or stability in your life, you may not be a wonderful candidate for a relationship as intense as marriage, and I advise that you seek counselling.
Marriage has its demands, but meeting each task will surely make you grow up, refresh your heart, make your soul prosper, and expand your horizon. Marriage is usually a good place for a person who has strength of character, a good measure of stability, and balance.
However, permit me to give you the scenario out there today which I believe a lot of you reading this are already familiar with, and probably helpless about, because you have it at the back of your mind that if you can’t beat them, then join them.
Most single women, who are between 28 and 50, seem to be under IMMENSE PRESSURE to get married, and this pressure is usually brought about by a combination of reasons that may be due to perception based on a TWISTED REALITY. During the online consulting sessions for people seeking to subscribe for the matchmaking service or program, when asked “why do you want to get married?” I get answers like:
‘All my friends are married; I am the only one left.’
‘My biological clock is ticking, and so it’s either now, or never.’
‘I am a single parent, Jerome, and my child is still young, and will need siblings now. Moreover, I need a father figure for my child.’
‘Loneliness is killing me.’
‘My mother’s sisters are not married, and I don’t want to end up like them.’
‘My mother cries every day to see me like this.’
If you take time out to carefully go through this list, you will find out that the reasons given are based on ‘FEAR’ rather than LOVE FOR THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE, OR FOR THE GOD THAT INSTITUTED IT. Now, you may ask me: “And what’s wrong with that? Fear or no fear, the reasons are valid”.
We need to realize that not everything we validate as human beings is necessarily valid. Whenever you validate a reason, person, position, place, friendship, marriage, threat, gift, status, strategy, etc, out of fear, you are most likely to get into trouble, because any fear you have that is not THE FEAR OF GOD, will most certainly lead you into temptation, and make you choose evil over good.
Think about it, and you will realize that FEAR:
Makes us fall ill
Makes us tell lies
Makes us keep vital information from loved ones
Makes us cooperate with even our enemies at our own detriment
Makes us believe lies
Makes us deny God
Makes us bring destruction upon ourselves
Makes us betray those who believe in us
Makes us compromise time and time again
Makes us become mentally unstable, etc.
Please, don’t consider it as harsh if I try to help you see that these women harbouring the fears that is masked with the reasons given for why they want to get married above, may actually be mentally unstable. And so when they go online, or to religious places of worship, or social events, and are scouting for men, at the back of their mind, they think it’s for marriage, but the hard truth is, it’s really to meet those inconveniences in their lives born out of fear. Which is why such women ALWAYS end up choosing men that are also not good candidates for marriage.
The men these women chose usually have similar profile:
They always don’t have a job, or any means of livelihood.
The more they tell you about themselves, the less you know about them.
They usually don’t have a place of their own, but don’t mind, because they know they will soon have not just a place, but a palace to move into.
You may want to know that they carefully select their candidate, and are not in a hurry, but when they do, they get married immediately.
They always lie that they have been in business before, but lost everything due to bad business decisions.
Some of them have a wife somewhere that they are still married to, and their wives agree with them to look for a SUGAR LADY that they can live off.
These guys don’t come into the relationship or marriage with anything, but always end up having everything, within three months, courtesy of their Sugar Wives.
The life span these men give themselves in that marriage is two years. After two years, they get out and move into their next marriage, and they always ensure that the next woman is richer than the one they are leaving.
Long before the breakup, they are already chatting with their next candidate while they are married to their sugar wife, and because their sugar wife has stepped them up, they can now go for someone richer. However, if their sugar wife continues to deliver, they may stay longer, while they only keep side chicks.
Most of these men are between 30 and 60, and usually have a mother that is still alive. In most cases, his mother is usually the engine that keeps encouraging him in devouring and defrauding his wife, yet his wife thinks she has found a wonderful mother-in-law who is an answered prayer.
These men are usually vindictive; they are always looking for something to hold unto that their sugar wives have done against them, which can be a good reason for people around to use in taking sides with them, and not their sugar wives.
No matter how much is invested in setting up a business for them, it will always go down the drain, because THEY ARE LAZY, and are not progressive.
They usually bring in people they claim are related to them, to come and live with them in a house where they are contributing nothing financially for the upkeep, so they can have more authority around the house, while they try to keep their sugar wife away from her own siblings.
They talk a lot about God, religion, before the marriage, but after the marriage, there is nothing to show they have ever heard about God.
They know they are not husband materials, but husband for hire, but the Sugar Wives who marry them don’t mind for as long as it is convenient for them.
These are no marriages, these are mere arrangements made to cover face. It has led so many women to lose their destinies, means of livelihood, and lives.
If you are on this ROAD THAT SEEMETH RIGHT, BUT THE END THEREOF IS DEATH, I advise that you seek professional counseling immediately.
