She met this Adonis of a guy during her national youth service year in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria a few years ago. The guy, too, was excited to meet a compelling beauty queen like the Delta State born Mass Communication graduate. Both of them fell in love at first sight during the weekly community service outing. Since then they became affectionately ‘glued’ together like Siamese twins.
Wherever he went, she’s there also. They upped the game by adorning ‘aso ebi’ – wearing the same uniform native dresses to church services and customized T-shirts for fun or casual outings. Barely a year after their national youth service, they were already thinking about consummating the honey-dripping affair. The two-year-old relationship started having issues the day they attended a wedding ceremony in Lagos where the guy met his ex-girlfriend who, at the time, was the youngest in the executive cadre at her company.
They exchanged phone numbers and reignited the flame of intimacy through regular calls and chatting. Since that fateful day, things took a bad turn in the relationship. The ‘beauty queen’ suddenly looked “ugly,” to her fiancé and he saw her as becoming “too desperate to marry.” Her caring attitude was despised as a ploy to hook him. Her romantic prowess he once enjoyed now turned to a filthy weird display of a “slut” which was too immoral for his liking.
What exactly has gone wrong? How come a blossoming relationship was now falling apart beyond redemption? Was the man doing this deliberately or she was the one truly at fault? Did his ex-girlfriend has anything to do with this unfolding drama?
There is nothing wrong being in talking terms with one’s ex-lover especially if the relationship failed based on fundamental reasons. A situation where a man easily falter or vacillate whenever he’s confronted with competing choices says a lot about his level of maturity, quality of choice and principle. The dramatis personae involved in this story have since gone their separate ways and they are now married but one of them is in regret.
Shortly after the relationship had gone sour, they separated. The handsome dude reconciled with his ex-girlfriend while Miss Beauty nursed her ‘wounds’ in loneliness, trying to patch up the pieces of her crashed hope and fantasy with courage. Her ability to maintain her radiance and smile in the presence of her friends and colleagues facilitated her speedy recovery. Soon after, she had moved on, believing that God must have saved her from future marital disaster.
Eighteen months after their separation, Miss Beauty was two months away to her traditional wedding when Mr. Adonis surfaced at her place of work asking for forgiveness and reunion. It was a drama of sort that day as she became apparently embarrassed by his weird and profuse manner of pleading. You might want to know what happened, here’s what he said:
“I never knew I was walking into a trap when my ex-girlfriend we met at that wedding asked that she had really missed me and she would like us to resume affair. Initially I was reluctant but considering her new level and status in such a big organization, I swallowed the bait. She gave me money to ‘settle’ you as compensation for the pain the break up will cause you. I pocketed the money and moved on with her.
“She asked me to start preparing for our wedding immediately. I went borrowing and got many things ready hoping she would offset the incurred bills as she promised. She asked me to sell my only car and use the money to pay the rent for our new accommodation and furnishing. When I had emptied my account with over N1.3 million debt in preparation for the event, she told me never to come her way again. It’s like a dream. She said she hoodwinked to inflict pains of heartbreak on me. It was a revenge mission for what I did to her years back. She then ordered me out of her apartment warning never to visit or call her phone line again.”
The lady has refused to respond to his entreating. What will you advise him to do? He’s frustrated!
. . . Still on Single Dads
This article is emotional so much that I wept last night. I feel moody and empathetic towards single dads. I feel broken by the tone of this article. It is well. Let them trust in God and He will do something good in the lives of single dads. – Mrs. Irene O, Lagos.
You sounded so real in this article. – Faith Bawa, Abuja
This article is very interesting. You men are big sulking babies indeed. A lot of women go to bed at night with bouts of tears, yet, they wake up the next morning leaving those tears behind them. They take on life with a big smile on their faces. I think men should put an end to the feeling of entitlement and just live their lives as fate has bestowed on them. Most single moms are working, fending for their families and taking care of their homes without feeling suicidal. That’s life and we live it with big smiles on our faces. – Carol Opata, Accra, Ghana.
Your today’s write-up on single dads is so emotion-laden for me. It’s so real and touching. It is well with single dads – Mrs. O. Aluko, Lagos.
This is a wonderful piece. I really feel for single dads because men do find it difficult to survive this kind of horrendous condition. My father told me that God gave women strong heart to adapt to challenging conditions more than men. Some men find it hard to cope without their wives. In this aspect of life, men are weak and they need support and understanding. I will like to hook up with any responsible single dad so I can change his agony to joy. I sincerely advise them to remarry than die in silence. Being a single mom or dad is burdensome. – Julie, Enugu.
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